In der Halbzeitpause der heutigen Heimniederlage wandte sich Präsidentschaftskandidat Trump mit einer Videobotschaft an die Zuschauer im Stadion und im Stadion-TV. Er kommunizierte auf diese Weise eine große Entscheidung für seine Kampagne und einen Schockmoment für Kalle:

Ladies and gentlemen, magnificent members of FC Chelsea Neukölln — truly the greatest club members, not only in Germany, not only in Europe, but possibly in all of human history — today is a historic day. A HUGE day. The kind of day people will talk about for centuries. Maybe millennia.

You all know I’m running for President of this wonderful, slightly mismanaged, very exhausted football club. And you know why — because Kalle, bless his heart, tried very hard but… let’s just say ambition is not the same as talent. Not even close.

But today, we’re talking about something bigger. MUCH bigger.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am announcing my running mate. The greatest running mate in club history. Maybe the greatest running mate in ANY history.

Massimo de Luca.

Yes, THAT Massimo.
The sitting president. The man in charge. The big boss.
A man who originally — and very dramatically — announced he wouldn’t run again. He said, “I will step aside, I will support Kalle.” Very noble. Very poetic. Very… misinformed. Misinformed like Kamala.

Because let me tell you something — and you’re going to love this —
Massimo de Luca SWITCHED SIDES.
That’s right. Secretly. Quietly. Silently.
Like a ninja. A presidential ninja!

He took one look at the situation, one tiny little look, and he said:
“I can’t support Kalle… I must support Trump.”

And who can blame him? Nobody wants to be on the losing side of history. Nobody wants to hold the clipboard for the bicycle when they could be riding the Ferrari.

And Massimo — let me tell you — he’s got something very special:
charisma. Real charisma. Italian charisma.
You know what I mean. He walks into a room and suddenly everyone is gesturing with their hands and talking about espresso. Very strong espresso. I call it strongpresso. It’s incredible. Very powerful energy.

Massimo told me, and I quote — and he said this very respectfully, very emotionally —
“Sir, the club needs you. The club needs us. Together, we can do things no one has ever done.”
Beautiful. Almost brought a tear to my eye. Almost. Surely. I can do everything without him. But with him it will be easier. Much easier.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are unstoppable.
TRULY unstoppable.

Trump and de Luca — the greatest leadership ticket FC Chelsea Neukölln has ever seen.
We’ve got the energy.
We’ve got the experience.
We’ve got the charisma — mostly me, but Massimo has some too, because he’s Italian.
And we’ve got the momentum. Huge momentum. The kind that makes opponents tremble and Kalle reconsider his life choices.

So here’s the message:

Kalle, thank you for your enthusiasm. Really tremendous effort. But the grown-ups are taking the wheel now. So sad. Very sad.

Together — me and Massimo — we will make sure this club NEVER faces relegation again.
We will bring back victory.
We will bring back respect.
And we will bring back glory — GLORIOUS glory — to FC Chelsea Neukölln.

This is the ticket. This is the moment. This is the comeback of the century.

Thank you for your attention.
Tremendous people.
Tremendous love.
Tremendous winning ahead.